Rewriting the Stories You Were Told – Reclaiming Your Inner Narrative
The truth is that most of us didn’t write the story we’re living. Our story starts being written for us long before we could hold a pen to write it… before we had the ability to use words… before we even knew we had a story.
We inherited our narratives from parents, teachers, coaches, religious figures, media, and systems that told us who we were, what we were worth, and what we should believe about ourselves.
In childhood, we weren’t the authors. And for a long time, most of us lived by the story that was narrated for us.
So many of the identities we have accepted as our own were handed to us when we were too young to question them.
“She’s the shy one.”
“He’s my sensitive child.”
“You were always loud. Right from the time you were born.”
“It’s ok. You’re not very good at math.”
“You never finish anything you start.”
“She’s a little caretaker… always looking after her baby brother.”
“She’s boy-crazy!”
“He’s a wild one. I’ve never been able to control him.”
Sometimes these stories seem harmless… even affectionate.
But the truth is that these early messages get internalized - because the parts of our brains responsible for emotion processing are still under construction until our early teens, and the areas involved with identify formation typically don’t mature until well into young adulthood.
So, the messages we repeatedly – especially the ones with emotions attached to them - actually become part of our neural pathways and our core beliefs. And since we’re too young to challenge them, we don’t just believe them – we become them.
They can show up in the stories we tell ourselves later in life, like:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I’m not smart enough.”
“I can’t do hard things.”
“I always mess things up.”
“My job is to make everyone happy.”
“If people knew the real me, they wouldn’t love me.”
Sound familiar?
These aren’t just passing thoughts. They’re etched like grooves in a record
But we don’t have to just accept these stories. They’re not “just who I am”, or “I’m always going to be this way.”
We have the choice to own our own narrative. “Owning the Narrative" means actively shaping our identity, goals, and who we want to be in life, rather than letting our past or other people do it for us.
Thanks to our brains incredible ability to rewire itself (Yay neuroplasticity!!), with a little work, we can rewrite our internal narrative and craft the next chapter in our story the way that we want to see it.
It begins with a process of developing Awareness, producing Disruption, and crafting Replacement.
It starts with learning to recognize those old scripts when they show up and asking, “Who says this is who I am?”, “Is this actually true?”, then interrupting and disrupting the pattern for those scripts.
Then we choose to reframe and rewrite those outdated, or untrue scripts with new ones, and take them out into the world and make them our external narrative too. Living our story – on our own terms.
I’ll be real… Not everyone will be thrilled about this. Not everyone will be comfortable with you living your new story. They may feel left behind… they might not be ready related to your new script… or they may find it difficult to let go of who they wanted you to be.
But you know what? Whether it’s your boss… your friends… your partner… or your family… it might be scary at first, but if’s also pretty awesome to start learning how to be true to yourself. Every pen-stroke of your new narrative brings you a little bit closer to the story that’s true and authentically you.
Tips on Reclaiming Your Narrative:
Be discerning about what you let into your head.
From social media promising to solve all that “ails” us, to commercials and other forms of media telling us how we “should” be, we need to be our own content filter.
Pay attention to your inner voice. You know…? The one in your head. Does it speak to you the way you speak to the people you love?
If not – it’s time for you to rewrite the script. When you hear yourself being negative or hurtful, stop yourself and say something kind. (Made a mistake? You’re not stupid. “I’m learning, and everyone makes mistakes.”)
Create a clear vision of the story you want to live, and who and how you want to be in that story.
Your vision will help get you through the hard times, hard conversations, and the self-doubt that are still going to creep in.
Set boundaries. Around what you will read or watch or listen to. Who you’ll spend time with.
And around saying “no” to things that aren’t aligned with your truth.
Above all else, be gentle with yourself.
When you find yourself believing your little voice… or other people’s narratives… gently correct yourself, reset, and keep moving ahead.
✍️ Reflection Prompt
If you’re journaling alongside the podcast consider these questions:
“What story have I been telling myself about my worth?"
"Whose voice does that sound like?"
"What do I want to believe instead?"
Final Thoughts
No matter who helped narrate the previous chapters in our story, we are free to write the next chapter… and the next… and the next.
It won’t always be easy. Not everyone will be happy with your new script.
But the pen is in our hands – nobody else’s. You get to be the author of your own story.
🎧 Listen to the Full Episode
👉 Episode 10: Rewriting the Stories You Were Told – Reclaiming Your Inner Narrative
💬 More on resilience: transformativejourneys.ca
🧰 Want tools to help you build resilience? Click here: 👉 to grab my free Bounce Back Blueprint.
📸 Let’s connect on Instagram: @transformativejourneys.johanna
👥 Join the FB Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/transformativejourneys
Next week? We’ll be talking about Boundaries Without Guilt - How to Say No and Still Be Kind. Because sometimes the hardest part of writing our own story… is saying “no” to the old one.
