10 Pieces of Advice I’d Give My 20-Year-Old Self (That Still Matter Today)

Ten Things I Would Tell My 20-Year-Old Self

Reflections on resilience, self-worth, and a few toads I should’ve walked away from sooner.

Have you ever wished you could go back in time and give your younger self a little advice? Not to scare her off or shield her from life’s inevitable bumps and bruises… but to whisper some wisdom that might have helped her cruise through them a bit more easily, and maybe trust herself a little more?

This week on the Transformative Journeys podcast, that’s exactly what I did.

Here are the highlights here in blog form! (But you’ll really want to go and listen to the full conversation in the podcast 🤣).

Whether you’re 20, 40, 60, or somewhere in between, I hope this post encourages you to offer yourself a little more grace, and a lot more belief in your worth.

💬 Ten Things I Would Tell My 20-Year-Old Self

1. Not everyone who loves you knows what’s best for you.
They mean well - but their advice often comes from their story, not yours. Trust your intuition. And keep your advice-taking circle small. Like… Post-it Note small. The 1”x1” kind. Everyone else? Just noise.

2. You are stronger than you think.
You’ll face loss and heartbreak, and still find your way through. That’s resilience. You’ve got it in your bones - just like Oma. Every challenge has a lesson, and yes... this too shall pass.

3. You are smart and full of potential.
Stop waiting for others to believe in you. And stop assuming they know more than you do. You don’t need anyone’s permission to learn, grow, or pursue something that lights up your soul.

4. Invest in yourself every day.
Nope, not just financially (though yes, please stop impulse shopping - future you is still paying for that). Feed your mind. Learn. Read. Challenge your thinking. It’s never too early to start becoming who you’re meant to be.

5. Stand up for what’s right - including yourself.
Don’t shrink yourself for anyone. You’re not “being a bitch” by holding boundaries, sticking up for your values, or protecting your peace. And for those people who think you are?... (Yeah… you know who I’m talking about.) Let’s be honest – they deserve it.

6. Other people’s opinions are none of your business.
Their judgments don’t define you. Let go of people-pleasing and start living in alignment with your truth. The right people will love you for exactly who you are.

7. Stop kissing toads.
Love shouldn’t feel like an uphill battle. If he makes you feel small, puts you last, cheats, controls, belittles, or even makes your gut whisper “this ain’t right” - walk away. The right person won’t need to be convinced to treat you well.

8. You are not fat, you twit.
(Yes, I said it.) Focus on being healthy and strong, not skinny. Your body is not a problem to fix. Eat more vegetables, move your body, and sleep when you can. And for the love of all things holy - say no to energy drinks.

9. Talk to yourself like someone you love.
Would you say that to your best friend? Then don’t say it to yourself. You are enough. You give enough. You deserve kindness, love, and compassion - from others, and especially from yourself.

10. Take the leap.
Don’t wait for the “perfect time” to do the things that scare you a little. The regrets won’t come from what you tried - they’ll come from what you didn’t. Go live the life that calls to you.

🌿 A Few Bonus Reminders:

• Not everyone is kind. But most people are doing their best with what they’ve got.
• Drama is not a love language. Avoid it. Kick it to the curb. Move on.
• Stop buying shoes that don’t fit - metaphorically and literally. They never stretch.
• Opa’s green thumb skipped a generation. It’s okay. Get a cactus.

Your Turn

If you’ve got a few minutes and a quiet space, grab a journal or a sheet of paper and write your own letter to your 20-year-old self.

What would you tell them?
What do they need to hear that you still need to believe today?

Be kind. Be honest. Be brave.

💛 You Deserve Grace

We all carry baggage. Some handed to us, some we picked up thinking we needed it at the time. But we don’t have to keep carrying it forever.

Let’s be gentler with the past versions of ourselves – and with our future selves moving forward.
Let’s offer them the grace we have always so easily given others.

Because healing isn’t about pretending the past didn’t happen - it’s about choosing to grow from it.

🎧 Want to listen to the whole fun (and encouraging) episode instead?

Catch Episode 8 here 👉 Listen on Buzzsprout: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2505795/episodes/17423609

📣 Resources & Reminders

🧰 Free Resource: Grab your Bounce Back Blueprint guide here:
👉 transformativejourneys.ca

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👉 @transformativejourneys.johanna

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