Flashback & Forward: What I’d Tell My 20-Year-Old Self Now
A Letter to My Younger Self (and Maybe to You, Too)
I’m almost at the five-month mark of this podcasting thing – and I’ve got to tell you that I’m still a little gobsmacked that I’m actually doing this.
With every new download, I’m hit again with gratitude that perhaps a few of my musings and thoughts… life-lessons and insights… might be helping someone else navigate a hard moment in life – or even just not feel alone.
This week, I’m taking a brief pause from new content, and re-offering a flashback episode that’s close to my heart.
It was a love letter (and maybe a bit of a you-need-a-kick-in-the-ass lecture) to my 20-year-old self.
Why revisit it now? Because as we close out October and head into a season that can feel heavy for a lot of folks - especially those of us living with loss or carrying invisible grief - I wanted to offer a moment of gentleness…
A little breath of humour…
And a moment to reflect on how far we’ve come.
🎧 So if you could go back for an hour…
What would you tell your younger self?
Not to warn them. Not to change their story.
After all, our stories and life-lessons have made us who we are today.
But maybe just to whisper a little wisdom in their ear.
The original letter, that I expanded on for the podcast (Episode 8, back in July), was written during a season of deep personal growth. I was living alone for the first time in my life - post-divorce, post-grief, post-survival mode - and beginning to ask a powerful question:
Who am I now, really? And what kind of woman do I want to become?
That letter became a turning point.
And in that episode, I built on the 10 most important (and most earned) truths I would pass on to the younger me.
💌 Here are just a few of the highlights from “Ten Things I Would Tell My 20-Year-Old Self”:
- “You are stronger than you think.”
You will go through things that might have broken someone else. And you will still rise - bruised maybe, but never broken. - “You are not fat, you twit.”
Please stop wasting years hating your body. It’s beautiful. It’s capable. It’s yours. Take care of it like someone you love. - “Stop kissing toads and hoping they’ll turn into a prince.”
(Yes, I said it.) If he disrespects you, belittles you, cheats on you, or lays a hand on you - walk away. Immediately. You don’t need to earn love. You deserve the real thing. - “What other people think of you is none of your business.”
Seriously. The sooner you let go of people-pleasing, the freer you’ll be. - “Invest in yourself.”
Not in stuff. In learning, growth, books, experiences, and becoming the version of you that you admire.
There’s a lot more in the full episode (linked below), including a few bonus lessons - like why you shouldn’t buy shoes that are a size too small “just because they’re on sale.” (Spoiler: They never stretch – and it’s not really about shoes.)
💭 A Reflection Prompt for You
Take a few minutes this week and try this:
Write a letter to your 20-year-old self.
Make it kind.
Make it honest.
Say the things you wish someone had said to you - and notice how many of them you still need to believe today.
Your letter doesn’t have to be poetic. Or polished. Or even shared.
But I promise… it will be powerful.
💜 Looking Ahead: Grief, Grace, and Gentleness
As we move into November, the tone of the podcast will shift just a little. I’ll be sharing a series of grief support episodes - for anyone navigating invisible losses, complicated feelings, or the emotional landmines that sometimes come with the holiday season.
So whether you’re deep in it right now, or just need a soft place to land - I hope this space continues to remind you that you’re not alone.
✨ Final Thoughts
Maybe your journey has had some twists and turns too.
Maybe you’ve weathered more than most people know.
But here’s what I hope you take with you from this episode, and from this letter:
You are already carrying the roots of your resilience.
You don’t have to wait for permission to be kind to your younger self - or your current self.
You’re allowed to choose yourself.
You’re allowed to change.
And you are always, always worthy of grace.
If this episode stirred something in you - a memory, a moment, or a whisper from your own story - I’d love to hear it. 💌 www.transformativejourneys.ca
